The Four Spaces of Spiritual Growth[1]
- Public Space: 20 or more people, little to no personal interaction, people don’t know your name, usually a teacher or lecturer who is the focal point. Learning environments (school, church) are common public spaces.
- Social Space: 5-20 people, people know your name but not your personal business. Needs a leader/facilitator, but not necessarily a teacher. Most conducive environment for getting to know new people. Examples: fun event at church, hanging out in office break room
- Personal Space: 2-5 people, everyone knows more than just your name, they know details about your life. Personal space is usually filled with friends and peers, no leader/facilitator is necessary. It is private space, outsiders not welcome. Examples: best friends on a park bench, road trips, small coffee tables with personal conversation.
- Intimate Space: 1 other person, people know more than your business, they know your secrets, they know you better than anyone else in the world. Examples: private dinners.
We connect and grow spiritually in all 4 spaces. We need relationships in all 4 spaces and no one space is more important than the others. The spaces are interrelated and connected together-- people in public space we invite into our social space where we identify close friends whom we invite into personal and intimate space.
Today, we have a deficit of social space. After graduation from college, we have a hard time finding safe social spaces where we can meet together with 5-20 peers. This is the space that the church can offer by way of small groups. Too often the church tries to offer small groups as ‘personal space’-- come meet weekly with 4-5 people who will be your best friends for the next 10 years. Rarely can the church actually deliver on this offer and the failed expectation leads to disappointment and fear about signing up. When we try to induce intimacy in our small groups, people are hesitant to join (huge relational pressure) and leaders are destined for failure.
At The Arlington Project, we will aim to have small groups that meet the need for ‘social space’. They will have 12-15 members. This is a number that facilitates a natural energy, mild anonymity, and the ability to be vulnerable at one’s own pace. We will use fixed start and end dates on a tri-semester calendar that blends openness to new people and the opportunity for friendship that is attractive in ‘closed’ groups. Our small groups will be safe, Bible-centered places to meet new people, make friends, grow in faith, and have fun. Small groups will help us form personal and intimate relationships by providing social spaces where we make friends who could then become more intimate friends outside the group.
Calendar
We will use a tri-semester, fixed start and fixed end system. The semesters will be 10-12 weeks each.
Generally speaking:
I. January-March semester 1
(mid-March to mid-April [depending on date for Easter] promotional month. 4 week time to sign up, closed after this period)
II. End of April to end of June semester 2
July-August: no small groups, weekly social events/ all church fun nights
(mid-August to mid-Sept: Promotional month. 4 week time to sign up, closed after this period)
III. mid-Sept to end of November semester 3
December: no small groups
Registration
I would like to have one means of registration. But there could be wisdom in multiple registration methods.
· Completely web based.
o Click on map that shows location of groups around Arlington County with leader names
o Also a cross-referenced list by date, time, and topic
o Person signs up on web, email sent to leader for follow up, the website closes the group when it reaches 15 registrations
Other options:
· Paper based: Connection card/pad that everyone fills out during promotion month and puts in offering plate
· Table based: Small group table on site during promotion month, staffed with leaders, web sign up capacity at this table.
Registration will only be open during promotion month. After that time, the groups are closed until the next promotion month (usually only 6-8 weeks between promotion months)
Content
We will begin the groups by all doing the same thing. I will preach on a passage of Scripture on Sunday. Small group leaders will be able to download from the website a pdf with the passage of Scripture and 5-6 discussion questions (plus some answers if they are tricky or complex). Small group should last for about 90 minutes:
· 10 minutes of gathering chit chat, grab a snack and coffee
· 45 minutes of discussion on the passage: wrestling through how do we live this out?
· 25 minutes of sharing a simple prayer request, giving opportunity for everyone to pray for each other
· 10 minutes of clean up and good byes
After the first 2 semesters of all doing the same content, we will invite leaders to lead groups on different topics. Some groups will continue to track with the sermon series each week, some will launch into book studies, or other affinities and interests. As the topics increase, it encourages people to move around and learn about different things each semester.
Leaders and Coordinators
Leader: Each group will have at least one leader. This person hosts or finds a place to host the group; transitions the group from chatting to discussing the passage-- asks the questions, helps facilitate responses; and leads the group in prayer for each other.
Coordinator: This person is a leader apprentice. He/she will pray with the leader each week for members in the group. He/she can email the group in between meetings-- following up on folks who did not show; coordinate the snack list, and keep track of prayer requests. It is hoped that the coordinator would become a leader during the next semester.
There will be a monthly (Jan, Feb, March, May, June, Sept, Oct, Nov) leader/coordinator training that will be lead by David. This content will focus on the character and heart of a leader-- shepherding, serving, etc.
Growth
At the end of each semester, all of the groups will open up. Ideally a coordinator would become a leader. Some of the group would sign up again with the same leader, some of the group will sign up with the coordinator/ new leader, some will move on to other groups/topics. As leaders we are always looking for people who might be open to lead and encouraging people to take that step.
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